Dec. 13, 2022

Season 3 Ep. 2 // Are you Quietly Quitting?? (Part 2)

Season 3 Ep. 2 // Are you Quietly Quitting?? (Part 2)

Quiet quitting may be trendy but is rarely beneficial.  So often in marriage, we can take our partner for granted. When that happens, the downward spiral to "Quietly Quitting" can start.  
In the second episode of this 2 part series. We identify more ways you may be quietly quitting in your relationship. 

We are excited to be back and looking to continuing on the journey of healthier marriage with you. 

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Bryan: [00:00:00] Today is the next part to our quietly quitting series. We are gonna going a little bit deeper and what it means to, what are some of the symptoms of being a quiet quitter? Let's dig in for a little bit more.

Welcome to we're on season three, episode two of the Amplified Marriage Podcast. I'm Ryan. I'm Natalie. We are so glad that you could join us today. And if you happen to miss last week's, last week's was part one of our quietly quitting series. It was actually quite a doozy, and we're looking forward to just digging a little bit deeper into what that looks like today.

That's right. So 

Natalie: wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you hear us say this, every podcast, grab a snack, grab a coffee, grab aate, grab your partner. You're not gonna wanna miss this. 

Bryan: So let's do just a, a little gentle recap, but with last week we talked about the two, two things that are a big part of the quietly quitting fad or the trend that's happening in, in marriages.

That's right. In relationships, couples. The first one was that you're just losing interest in each other. You're not engaging, you're not really wanting to spend time necessarily with each other. What they like communicating less? Yeah, you're communicating less, and again, quietly quitting. Really straight up is just all about.

Communication now. Hundred percent. Here's, here's the thing I was thinking even as we were getting ready, is that there's some people that just are poor communicators. Mm-hmm. , but have a really Okay marriage. 

Natalie: Right. Like, they're just Right. Like they're, they're still invested. It doesn't mean that they're quietly quitting.

Yeah. Although, yeah. 

Bryan: Although, , eventually the, the lack of communication will come back to bite them in the bud. But there's just people that are just bad communicators and just don't know how to, to deal with that. We're talking about those that, that just don't, that are walking through some of these things.

So the first one that we, that we talked about was you're just losing interest. Yeah. Like you're communicating less and you're like, you're talking, you're communicating, communicating, texting less and less. 

Natalie: Right. Right. And you're losing interest. So those are the first two. You're losing interest.

Everything evolves around communication. Right. So your expectations and all of that. Losing interest because you're not talking about it. Right. Right. So they kind of flow hand 

Bryan: in hand. Absolutely. And so the next one, really, all of these four that we have all tie in really well to each other. And so this next one is you're, you're just not missing each other now.

Mm. Right. Like, do you miss me when I'm gone? I do. Now there's a song. Do you miss me when I'm gone? No. Okay. I'm gonna miss you when I'm gone. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And we're not gonna do that , but you do now. 

Natalie: What I, I was to cannot say, or I can, I can say honestly that there have been times where we were really struggling in our marriage, that when you would kind of go out for the evening or whatever, I kind of breathed dec sigh of relief.

Because it meant, it meant that there was. Peace. Peace , meaning we weren't, we weren't talking about anything which would start an argument or we weren't discussing anything. I didn't have to find a way or shut down out of that. So there was an element of peace. Now, albeit, You can label it peaceful.

But it's just avoidance. It's just like, like, 

Bryan: call it what it is. You're just, we were avoiding having to deal with the topics because we didn't know how to fight. We didn't know how to communicate. We didn't know how to, to 

Natalie: disagree. Amicably, amicably, but also in a, I don't wanna say proper way, but where we could hear each other's points of views.

Right. Respect each other's 

Bryan: points of views. Right, because we were listening. Listening with the intent to respond, not to hear. Yes. Right. Exactly. Okay, so that's cool. 

Natalie: So, but yes, there have been times where I'm like, I just don't miss you and, and honestly, the danger with. With allowing that thought to take root.

Is that the longer that goes unchecked? Yeah. Or untalked about the, the more you drift away. True. And that's just the honest truth. Right. 

Bryan: And like, I like, it's funny cuz when you go away now, like you'll go to for a weekend with the girls, you go. And I just found myself after we, the marriage was starting to be a lot more healthy and things were working out.

Yeah. Is that I'd be sitting on the couch watching a show by myself. Kids are in bed and I would, something funny would happen and I would laugh. and I would laugh and point to, Hey, did you, and you're not sitting there with me, right? And I'm like, ha ha. I'm just a weirdo now for laughing by myself in my own house almost looking around to see if anyone around me is looking when I'm, but it was just that kind of like mm-hmm.

I'm so used to having you there. I really enjoy having you there. And we do, we're, we're definitely not in a place where we're not, I miss you when you're gone. I don't like it when you're gone. Not just because you do stuff around the house and you drive things and you take me places. Yeah, I miss you.

That's right. I think that's the big key is that we actually, it's not just the. The presence, like the physical side. Yeah. Like it's the, the emotional side that you bring, the perspective side that you bring to the relationship. All of that is important. Yeah. And I value all of those things. Well, and I like 

Natalie: you.

I like having you around. Yeah. You know, I'm okay. I think there's a difference between existing together and doing life together and thriving together. Right. And so I, I have to, There were lots of points in our marriage where it was just existing and not thriving, and we were almost like 

Bryan: roommates. Like was that saying that we said on Sunday at church was we're, we're just surviving.

We're not thriving. Yeah. Yeah. We were just, we were at a place where we were just making it through. We were just existing in the same place. We weren't doing so well together. And the thing about when you miss someone and they come home, , like there's that, that, that logging when they're gone, when you're, when you're in a healthy place in your marriage, not only is that physical presence healthy, but it actually helps you keep the related, like, Hey, tell me what your week, what did you do while you were gone?

What was happening? You missed this, this, what happened there? And it kind of, that communication, that presence is actually kind of like a, a, a adhesive that brings everything together and kind of keeps the relationship. . That's right. Healthy because we miss each other. Yeah. I like spending time 

Natalie: with you. I, I like spending time with you too.

And I don't like, I mean, the problem is that when you start to visualize yourself without your partner 

Bryan: Yeah. What would life be like 

Natalie: without them? Right. And if you are, like, I mean, if you're in an unhealthy place Right. Again, hear us. You need to get help. Yeah, we're not talking about that. We're talking about just two people that are just like, well, this is just my trial run and if it doesn't work out, then there's, you know, option B and option C.

We're talking to those people because we were those people. Yeah. About disconnecting and, and being and fantasizing about life without you. , if you think that you can go down that path and not it affect your relationship and even your, not tolerance, I don't like, I don't think that word, but it begins to affect your perspective of how you choose to see your spouse.


Bryan: Or. You're, yeah, because then you're, you're not looking at them as a lifelong partner. 

Natalie: No. You're looking at them of like, as disposable. Yeah. 

Bryan: That's the word I'm looking for. Did you, did, were you looking at me like that? Like I was disposable? 

Natalie: I think there was a, there was a a while where Yeah, it was disposable and it was like, well I'm not, it's not what I signed up for.


Bryan: and, and even just thinking like this would be so much easier if it was just me. Like Yes. Especially the first few years, like the four or five. 8, 9, 

Natalie: 10 years. And, and like you gotta understand, like we did not have kids at the moment. Yeah. And this was already huge pressure. Yeah. I can't even imagine having had kids, and I know that's not the middle, middle of that situation.

There are lots of people that have kids in the middle and they're, and they're really struggling. And so Really being self-reflective and ask yourself the hard questions. Cuz really honest change didn't come till I was honest with myself. Right. And you can only go so long to blame the other person.

You know, when you point the finger at, you've heard everyone say, when you point the finger at someone, you've got three more pointing back at you. And it's really true. You have to be willing to look at yourself and acknowledge the faults that you have in your part that you're playing. So 

Bryan: what kind of questions were you asking yourself?

Like if you're gonna. Self-aware and be honest and be like, you just have to be. What kind of things? Like if you're, if you're imagining life without me, then what are you asking yourself to kind of, 

Natalie: well, I think first off, you need to be aware that you're even thinking that. Yeah. 

Bryan: And how long did it take for you to clue that in or clue into that?

Those bitter, 

Natalie: it didn't take me very long cuz.

Yes, I did a lot of like projecting and blaming you. Mm-hmm. , but I was very much aware of my part to play, but I was just more content with playing the victim in hopes, well, I'm being honest in hopes that it would change your behavior and that does not work. And I'm particularly 

Bryan: stubborn. 

Natalie: Exactly. And so you're not a pushover and you were not a Your personality was different to maybe someone that's listening, right.

Where they're more complacent. You were not, or not complacent, but more passive. Yeah. Right. And that's, that's not a bad thing that I just knew with you. It didn't work. So I couldn't use that to my advantage, which is so awful to admit that out loud. But come on, we're being real. 

Bryan: So what you're saying is, is.

And it's not like you've not said this before. You, you tried things to manipulate me a hundred percent in order for me to change. And you have to, you avoiding to change 

Natalie: a hundred percent. Yeah. And like, listen, I was that person who would buy self-help books and underline and highlight in that and leave it on your bedside table so that you would read it and be like, I hope that you realize we went

I've had, you don't even have to put. Brian, I've already highlighted all your faults in this book, . That's 

Bryan: so funny. Or it's like going to a marriage conference cuz we did those and we were like, Ooh, this is for you. Right. But, but like, even on the other side of that too, like, because I, I wasn't a manipulator, I was a, I was an aggressive communicator.

Yes. Not, not a good communicator, a tyrannical, I was communicator, I was a tyrannical. And so my way was do what I tell. Not in a, like I'm the hu man of the house, but just as in a personality, I'm like, just, if we do what you, if you would do what I would tell you, this would 

Natalie: change. Anyone who knows me knows that does not fly 

Bryan: with me.

And I did not sh so I'm not a pushover. I didn't marry a pushover. And it's literally like watching two tarso bang each other in the head constantly over and over with no avail, nothing changed. It's like 

Natalie: two alphas. Yeah. Like you, you see. The dad deers, what are they called? Bucks. Bucks. . You see the dad deers, you see the dad deers, with their antlers.

Yeah. Right. And it was just, they were locking horns. It was like, like Billy goats. Yeah. I'm digging my heels in. You're digging your heels in. Right. And then we're gonna butt heads and, and honestly, because it was easier to just disengage. . I actually didn't miss you when you would go to work and I didn't miss you.

Cause I was like, wow. Finally there's like, I'm not having to, but it's a false sense of peace because it if you think it's not waiting for you when you get back 

Bryan: home. Well, yeah, cuz it like, you're not, you're just like, we've talked about this before. You're literally peeling back the rug. That's right.

Sweeping everything underneath. Hoping that maybe they'll forget or Yeah. Somehow, magically it's gonna work out. Now we do know that there's some things. are less important that you can just like, you don't need to deal with them. Right. But over time, yeah. They end up building up into things that you should have dealt with sooner.

And that's why we say, don't we gotta say this and communicate through your way through this. If you're losing in, if you're not missing each other or you're not, you're like losing interest or you're, you're talking less and less. Yeah. Your physical connectedness, well, your physical connecting goes away and then you struggle with sex, you struggle with intimacy because you're not able to, to deal with any of those things and put things.

Into perspective at all. It's all about what you 

Natalie: are doing. That's right. Oh, it's, it's very selfish. And, and also like, I liked spending time with you, and so here's the, the tricky side of it. I was willing to sacrifice the time that I enjoyed spending with you to avoid an argument. Right. And so, and, and everything suffered.

There was no physical connectness. And I'm not just talking about like holding hands. I'm talking about, oh, there was no affection. There was no affection, there was 

Bryan: barely any sex. And we didn't have, here, here's the thing. We didn't have Facebook to lie about how well we're doing as a couple No. On Facebook.

Be like, oh, I love my partner and I love everything about them. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, everything's great. Yeah. You see that all the time. Touch me now. 

Natalie: I wasn't because when we, when we were early married was the internet. Well, yeah, we we're not, oh, it feels like we're not that old. Feels like it wasn't quite to the, well, certainly wasn't to the degree it is now.

But let me tell you, we could put on a show. Oh boy. Could we ever, 

Bryan: we 

Natalie: were, we were master magicians. We were master illusionists because we could turn it on like And the charm, I mean, yeah. When other people were around, we. Dear friends of ours had no idea that we were struggling in our marriage. Right? The length of time that we were, because whenever they were around, we were lovey Doy, we were this and that.

And as soon as like the eyeballs, as soon as we got to the car, it was like, don't touch me. Don't look at me. And like fling your hand away. And 

Bryan: soon as we were like walking to the car, it all just 

Natalie: like blah. Right. Exactly. Even though we could see glimpses of how we were previous to that. Right. And that's how we were, we were always lovey dey.

We were always holding hands. We were always like physical connection in some way, shape, or form. Like you always had your hand on my, on my arm, or you'd always have your hand around me, or you know, I'd have my arm through your arm. We, we had no problem with like displaying affection, pda, even that wasn't enough to trigger what are we doing?

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And so if you're regularly spending time away with your spouse and you don't find that you're missing them, it could be a sign that you are quietly quitting. 

Bryan: Right. And just as we want to do a drive-by a drive-by topic on this one, just a really quick one is he just, you're not disagreeing with each.

Like Right. I was saying 

Natalie: this before, because if you're gonna communicate, there's going to be things you don't agree with the other person, and That's right. 

Bryan: Normal. And so if you get to that place where you're not actually disagreeing mm-hmm. , like I don't argue with people I don't care about. Like if someone wants to come to me in Walmart, and mentioned something to me in Walmart and that I disagree with her, I'm not gonna fight with them cause I don't care about you or your opinion matter.

Right? You're not invested. I'm not invested in this relationship, but with my wife, I want to know her perspective, her thoughts, the things that are going on. Why do you think that way? How is this gonna affect us? And your 

Natalie: opinion is important to me and your thoughts about things are important to me. But it can't just be important so long as it lines up with mine and it doesn't always 

Bryan: Exactly.

And that's, I think that's healthy the way we lead our house together and the way I lead this home. . We have Christian values, we have direction that we want to go. We've not always agreed necessarily say on how we should discipline the kids or maybe we should spend our money this way. Yeah, but that's where healthy communication comes in, into play, right?

So that's just a drive by. If you're not fighting or you're not dis disagreeing with each other, you might actually be quietly quitting cuz you just don't care what that person thinks about, which lines up with the other. Why was, before 

Natalie: we get to that, the other three topics, the last one here that we have.

If you are communicating and you are working through conflict and you're discussing areas of conflict Yeah, and coming up with solutions and working towards that, you still care about your relationship right? When you go silent, that should be a warning to you that something is off. . Right. And so if I'm, if I'm engaging in a resolution of a conflict or I'm like, I actually don't agree and I'm putting my inputs in Yeah.

I'm ca I still care about the relationship. Absolutely. I'm still fighting for the relationship. Yeah. Word of caution to those that have chosen to go silent. 

Bryan: Yeah. And the last one for today is, or for this episode, is you take each other for grant. 

Natalie: Yeah. Guilty. 

Bryan: Hundred percent. So we were talking about before this, this like you had this fear of abandonment.

Natalie: Yeah. Out of that came out of nowhere. 

Bryan: Like straight up. Like just this, like you're not gonna leave. Well, we know why. Well, some of why. 

Natalie: We know why. Honestly, it was a subconscious project. of an experience someone else I know had, and for whatever reason I adopted that as out of fear. And so it really reared its ugly head when we were pregnant with our first, well, it's raining.

We lost our first baby, so pregnant, I guess with our second pregnancy first. Yeah. However they determine that. Anyhow. Part of me and we had had a discussion ahead of time of like, Hey, we ready to have kids? Yes we are. And, and then when, when I actually got pregnant, there was a fear of. What if he just said he was ready to have kids but isn't actually, and now I'm just gonna leave.

And then I took that thought and it, I, I ran with it. Remember? 

Bryan: Do you remember when we were at the, 

Natalie: I would wake up out of a dead sleep and just be like, Brian? And you'd be like, I'm still here. I'm like right beside 

Bryan: you. 

Natalie: Yeah. And I was like, oh, oh, okay. Yeah. And then I'd go back to sleep and it was just, it was ridiculous.


Bryan: was only with Rainin too. You, you were the first pregnancy. So, and, and, but remember when we were at the, the, we did a, a music conference? A Christian music conference. Oh, yes. We came to do some just some education stuff, learning that kind of stuff. And we went to this conference and Natalie went to a, a, 

Natalie: a workshop with Carolyn Lorenz.

Yeah. And if you have ever side note she. . I don't know if she still is a country music star. She was a country music star. Yeah, she was in like the music industry, but like not in the Christian music industry. Anyways, she did a songwriting class. Yeah. Which was in a separate 

Bryan: building. No, no. It was in the same conference center on the opposite end of where I was, and I went to this guitar, electric guitar one.

That was teaching me about this thing and you were panicked. From the moment that we left the house, we were in 

Natalie: a bus, so it was wintertime and I was, yeah, so I'm already like on edge, a van 

Bryan: full of people. Yeah. And you were already on edge, you thought? I'm like, and then you vocalized it when we showed up.

And you're like, Brian, you have to meet me. And we picked the kiosk. It was like kios number four at this place as soon as your thing is over. And mine went long. And we, this is back before either of us had cell phones. We just made communication plans. We communicated where we're gonna meet. Mine went like 10 minutes long, and she was, when I arrived at this kiosk surrounded by people, she, she was standing next in this coffee thing in tears thinking that I'd left her in the middle of the conference.

And then there was another time, this one makes me laugh. I was working in Alberta in Red Deer at a place called Trail Appliances, and the place closed down at six. We had someone show up at five to six to pick up like 18 pieces of appliances, like they wanted 18 appliances. . And so our, all of our phones, business phones, all these 

Natalie: things are when I was pregnant 

Bryan: with, and all of all of the phones turn off and our cell phone had died.

So I plugged it in thinking I said, I'm gonna be home a little bit. And so this took us about half an hour, 45 minutes to do. I get home and she yells at me like, Jess freaks out. As soon as I walked in the front door, he is like, I got off at six. At 6 45. I walked into the. and I'm five minutes away from work.

Mm-hmm. walking into the door and she starts freaking out, like, cry, yelling, why didn't you tell me where you were? And I said, sweetie, I'm just going home. She had called the fire department. She had called the police department and the hospital in Red Deer to see if, Hey, did you get a guy named Brian coming in?

And I'm like, sweetie, I had a guy that was late. Like I 

Natalie: felt really taken for granted in that moment. And I certainly, the thoughts of. Again, where, where we had said earlier, what if something would've happened to my husband? Right. And it really was eye-opening then, then all my worst fears would have come true.

Yeah. And it, and it really in, in the most awful way to bring that reality to the surface. It was like, I really love this man. What in the world? Like where is this deep seated thing coming from? And I just encourage you. If you are oblivious to the, to the concerns and the care of your spouse, and you are just kind of, like I said, I love you on our wedding day, or I said I loved you at the beginning of our relationship, nothing's changed.

And if it has all tell you, you cannot go through life with that mentality. 

Bryan: No, no. Ab absolutely not. It's like you, you have. . It's such a weird, you have to care about the things that you each other care about. You've, you've heard about this before, or at least pretend that you do . Like I don't care about crafts or Michael's or like home sense, or I don't give a rats patootie about any of those things, and it annoys me when I have to go into them.

But I'll go shopping with her and mostly happy ish sort of now. Kind of, I'm less attitudinal than I was before. There's a gentle piece for me when I go to this place. I kind of just don't like it at all. But I, I'll go with a bit of a, an okay attitude because 

Natalie: it's important. And you know, I say, I said nothing that whole time

Wow. There's sometimes like let's just talk about the definition of taking someone for granted is to, to show no appreciation for or to undervalue them. And you. just expect that someone is, that you expect the other person to show appreciation for the things that you care about. Right. And, you know, and to, to your horn when you do something nice for them.

Yeah. It the, you have to be aware. 

Bryan: It's, and it's reciprocal. Absolutely. Like, it can't just be one or the other. I mean, you can go like that for a while. And, and here's the thing. There's ebbs and flows in marriage. There's sometimes there's ebbs and flows in every friendship, every relationship, every marriage, where sometimes.

I'm having to be the encourager more than I would've say a previous time. And there's others because cuz Natalie's, she's down or she's struggling with work or whatever's going on, the kids are being tough and she's just like not in a good head space. And then vice versa. There's times where I'm just like, man, I'm overwhelmed with, with that is going on.

I'm just feel angry or frustrated. Things are going on and she's the encourager. Mm-hmm. there. And that's like her strength ends up lending itself to be my strength. Right. But the only way you can get to that place, is by actually understanding the value that that person brings to you and your relationship.

Mm-hmm. and not taking the, and like, I can't think of any couple that has been married for a long period of time. that has never honestly said, Hey, I, I did take them like, and, and lie about. No, I've never taken them for granted. There's, there's time where, oh, there are people that are like that. Yeah. And but any relationship that I've been to, even if you have a good relationship, there's times, especially when you have kids Yes.

And you're going from place to place and you're having, I talked to a friend of mine today who's like, in the last week I feel like I was driving 80 kilometers a day. And it just, like, just doing things for the family and the kids is so easy. To get into this mode where you don't appreciate or value the other person.

That's right. And think that what you're doing has more impact or however, and you're, you're just looking at them as an accessory in the relationship that's as opposed to the partner that you value the most in the relationship. 

Natalie: Right. Does that make sense? Totally. And that you're, again, back to that point of like, we felt like we were roommates.

Yeah. And so the effort that one puts. Takes a hit because you're like, they're not going anywhere. Right? Yeah. And there's this false sense of security that not engaging and not being present with your spouse and not communicating well. There's this false sense of security that that's just enough. I mean, we're married, so that, that is the, the clincher.

And you have to understand that that. It could possibly be a slow death because if, if I just took you at how you were when we got married and then put no effort in it, and it was like, you're here, but I don't see you. Right? Yeah. And I don't care what you're doing. Sure. Go out. Sure. Do this. Sure. Do that.

Oh, you're not gonna do that. Fine. No skin off my shoulders. Oh, we would've been done a long time ago. Right. And so you have to choose, it's a choice. You have to choose to be engaged about, Hey, , what, how is your day? What is, I really appreciate whether or not words of affirmation is your love language or not.

Everyone wants to know that they're doing a good job or that people see them. Yeah. And who more whose opinion a, a side of gods, but like, in front of me whose opinion matters more. Yours. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And if I never hear from you, hey, I see you, you are doing such a great job. I love how well you take care of me and how well, whatever, however that looks for you, fill in the blanks.

And, and and I didn't say that to you. We're both responsible. Mm. , right? And then there comes in that sneaky, I'm taking you for granted just because you're here. Yep. Or just because I have a ring on my finger. Right. That's not, that's not enough. That doesn't mean you, you know, you put a ring on it and then all of a sudden you stop trying.


Bryan: And, and it really could be true. Maybe there, you or you're spouse aren't going anywhere. But if you want to have the, like, are 

Natalie: people, why, why leave room for interpretation and well, why 

Bryan: settle? Like, right. Like why settle for not having the best relationship you can possibly have? And sometimes in the relationship, it's not about, it's not about money spent on each other.

It's not. No necessarily about gifts and the amount of, and we went away for a $10,000 weekend and like, I bought her flowers every single day for like, it's Yeah. Like sometimes Talk to you then. Awesome. Yeah. Cool. I'm, I'm glad you can do that. But what I'm saying is, is it's little things in your relationship that are gonna make a big difference in how you communicate with each other, right?

It's those little steps, the, the tiny steps of discipline to just love each other. That's right. Through everything that actually build up to, Hey, we have a really healthy relationship now, and when things happen, I can actually rely on Natalie. now more than I've ever been able to because our relationship is so much more healthy.

It's so much more driven. We're ambitious together. We love our kids together. We communicate about everything together. We do church together. We have good friends together. Like all that's together because we've worked really hard to communicate and make sure we choose the right people. Right. We have the best relationships and we work really hard.

And do we do things well all the time? No. No. I wish I could say that we, we dated, we cover. Yeah, we figured this out and we're like, yeah, this is what we did and this is, and it's not like that at all. Like it's not, we can tell you to date and there could have been like, Hey, you need to date your spouse.

And it really could have been, we haven't been on a date for two months. Right. Like it really is the truth and the things that we're telling you, we've had to fight through and struggle through. That's right. If we look back to our relationship, every one of these quietly quitting things mm-hmm. were us.

Yep. and there's shades of those things occasionally, even now, because we 

Natalie: just have to really be intentional. I thought that's the word. Be intentional. Mm-hmm. . It's not just a matter of being in the same place as your right spouse, it's a matter of being engaged in that place. Absolutely it is with them.

Mm-hmm. . And if you're not, that could be a red flag. Absolutely. 

Bryan: Well, man, that was a, that was a really good end up being a really great conversation. Mm-hmm. . I love how it always turns out like this. , any final thoughts?

Natalie: Choose Everything that we talk about comes down to a choice. Ooh. And you can choose to disengage. It's like that in parenting. It's like that in any kind of relationship, friendship. Make the choice as soon as you've made the choice that you are present for the other person, then make sure that you are present for the other person.

Yeah. Inward and indeed. 

Bryan: Yeah. I think my final thing would be be accountable. Like, or yes, be accountable, but take responsibility. Huge. Just like what you said at the beginning, I said, don't, I did all of these things expecting me to change. Mm. Before you finally had that conversation with yourself, you're like, man, I gotta do something about me.


Natalie: And our and and what, what an awakening that was, that was really prickly , because that, that's a real hard place when you take a, an introspective look at yourself and realize you are a problem. Right. 

Bryan: Wow. That's really good. Well, I it's funny how we do this and sometimes we just. Different things about our relationship that we didn't know before that we talked about, but then you're like, man, I, it is just different questions.

I love how that works out. I'm so glad that you could join us for this episode of the Amplified Ranch podcast. If you have been enjoying this, it really does mean a lot when you actually share this on Facebook or Instagram or don't keep it for yourself, let other people know. Our mission with this whole thing is just to be able to help as many couples equip as many couples and let as many people know, The things that they're going through, the things that they're going through aren't just things that they're going through that other people have struggled as well.

So that's right. Again, you hear us say this all the time. If there's any topic or anything that you disagree with or you want to add to, I'd love to have you on there. If you have a question you want to ask us, we would love to hear from you. And as you've heard us say all the time, we 100% with all of our hearts believe that our marriage can be reset, refreshed, recharged, and 

Natalie: restored.

Thanks so much for listen. You soon.